Bride Tip: Enjoy Your Wedding and the Wedding Preparations

So many brides get stressed out by the wedding planning process, that I thought I should write a separate post just on that topic alone.

I'll tell you a cute story that made me think and that, I hope, carries a message for you, too. I met someone today, getting ready to renew her vows. "Is it an anniversary?" I asked. "Well, yes," she said. She explained, "We renew our vows every five years, so this is our fourth time getting married." She laughed. "It's been fifteen years. I still don't know whether I'm going to say 'yes' this time around," she added coyly.

And I thought to myself, first of all, this is sooo sweet and romantic. Every five years they evaluate their relationship and continue on because they feel as (or more) strongly for one another as they did when they first got married.

But I also thought--wow, planning a wedding every five years, that's got to be so hard. Even planning one wedding in a lifetime seems to overwhelm many a bride. So what's the secret and why do they do? This is pure conjecture on my part, but I am going to say that the reason they do it and continue to enjoy it is that they don't have to. There is no pressure for them to do it, and so when they renew their vows, it's purely because they want to. It's for them and they revel in it.

So that's the lesson that I want to impart on every bride out there who is stressed and can't sleep, as she is getting overwhelmed by the planning process: take a step back, take a deep breath, and remember why you are planning a wedding in the first place. Your wedding is ultimately for you and your spouse! It's not for your parents or your friends, even if at times it may feel that way. And if the wedding is for you, then enjoy it, and enjoy planning it. One day will slip by in a blink, but the planning process may take 6 months, a year, or even longer. Don't suffer through the process because you think it will result in the perfect wedding that you are going to love. Change your thinking so that you are enjoying those 6 months, a year or more, and if you can't, change the planning process so that you can!

Until next time!
http://www.alicesokoloffphotography.com/

Visit Alice Sokoloff Photography on Facebook
Follow Alice Sokoloff Photography on Twitter

Bride Tip: The Pros and Cons of a San Francisco City Hall Wedding

Some of the local (SF/Bay Area) brides, and brides who are making San Francisco the site of their destination wedding, may be considering the San Francisco City Hall as the place to exchange their vows and get married. As with anything, there are pros and cons to any venue, and I thought it might be helpful for me to talk about some of them here.

PRO: The San Francisco City Hall is just beautiful! It's majestic, and classic and timeless. It's hard to find a location to hold the wedding ceremony that would offer such grandeur and in the heart of San Francisco, no less.











CON: One of the biggest disadvantages of having your ceremony at the City Hall is that it's not very private or intimate. In fact, you are one couple on a conveyor of brides and grooms, parents, friends, photographers, etc. It feels to me like maybe some of the magic of the wedding day is lost, waiting in line with brides before and after you for the same officiant who has already married 50 couples before you.

PRO: A ceremony at the City Hall is short in duration and if you've ever squirmed through a 45-minute long ceremony at a friend's or relative's wedding, you know it's an advantage! If you are not particularly sentimental about the ceremony piece, it is actually an advantage to have it over with quickly and not to have to pay the photographer for time spent circling you like a vulture as you are standing in one spot and not much is changing.

CON: Of course, a short ceremony by the City Hall officiant is not going to include anything that is particularly personal or sentimental to you. The officiant is not going to be a friend or family member and will not be recalling episodes from your toddler years as part of his speech. Nor will you and your fiance have the chance to exchange your own personal wedding vows. There is a script and everyone follows the script. So, if the ceremony piece is important to you, the somewhat truncated City Hall version may not be right for you.

PRO: The price of a City Hall ceremony (not to be confused with the separate marriage license fee) is only $75 as of the date of this post (source: Office of the County Clerk) and it includes both the location and the officiant and you don't have to pay to decorate! This is very inexpensive, especially given my first point about how beautiful it is. If you are a price-conscious bride and are only going to have a small restaurant reception after the formal ceremony, holding the ceremony at San Francisco City Hall could be a great way to save money and still have a magnificent ceremony venue.

CON: Many couples opt to have the ceremony and reception at the same location. It's the best way to ensure that most of your guests make it to both and that your guests do not need to re-park to get from the ceremony to the reception. While it is possible to do both the ceremony and reception at City Hall (see Special Weekday Intimate Wedding Packages and Weekend Wedding Package), these end up being no less expensive than a wedding elsewhere and may lack a certain warmth (just my personal opinion). The vast majority of couples that get married at San Francisco City Hall are only having their wedding ceremony there and the reception at another venue. Ceremony reservations at San Francisco City Hall are available between 10:00 a.m. through 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. That means, a weekday wedding. And that means that you are going to get married pretty early in the day on a weekday. Some guests may not be able to make it, which is just what's intended for a City Hall wedding. According to the rules, only up to 6 guests total may attend the ceremony, including the photographer, videographer, etc. I have yet to see this rule strictly enforced, but the idea is clear--you are not supposed to bring all 80 or 150 of your wedding guests to City Hall to celebrate with you, unless you are purchasing one of the [more expensive] packages mentioned above.

PRO: The San Francisco City Hall is centrally located. After the official ceremony, which as we said happens fairly early, the bride, groom, and their small wedding party can head out for a bridal session for a few hours before their reception.

CON: A central location also translates into no free parking. If you and your guests are driving to City Hall (as opposed to arriving by limo or taxi), you will most likely have to resort to paid parking.

PRO: A City Hall wedding is by definition secular. It celebrates a civil union and is free from religion. If you are deeply religious, this, of course, is not so great. But if you are deeply religious, I suspect you've been dreaming of and can visualize every aspect of that perfect traditional church (sinagogue, mosque, you name it) wedding that your religion calls for and I doubt you are even contemplating a wedding at City Hall. For the brides who don't feel strongly affiliated with any particular religon, or who perhaps don't share religious views with their future spouse, a secular ceremony is the perfect answer.

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong decision. Whether City Hall is the right choice for you depends on the weight and importance that you ascribe to the factors described above. And whatever reception venue you choose, I wish you the most brilliant wedding!

Until next time!
http://www.alicesokoloffphotography.com/

Visit us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter

Bride Tip: Demystifying the Wedding Photography Services Contract

When you, the bride, finally make that leap of faith :-) and decide on one photographer over all others, in most cases you will be presented with a contract to sign.

"Why do we need a contract?" you may ask yourself. Well, there are two primary reasons: one legal and one practical. I think it's important not to mix up the two as you read the contract for the first time.

The legal reason is obvious: if either of the parties (the bride & groom or the photographer) feels that the other party didn't live up to that party's end of the bargain, the offended party may take the offending party to court and attempt to resolve matters there. Since it is the service provider, the photographer in our case, that provides the form contract to the customer, you will see that there are a lot of provisions there designed to protect the photographer from a particularly litigious customer. You should read the entire contract carefully, but you shouldn't worry yourself silly over those kinds of clauses. If you are concerned, by all means, ask the photographer about the provision that has you up in a knot and even negotiate it, if you feel that strongly. Some photographers will negotiate with you; others won't. It depends on the specific provision that you pick on and how comfortable they are with their own contract. You have to pick your battles and I would suggest worrying more about the "practical" provisions (below) and less about the "legal" provisions. (This is not my legal advice--only my personal common-sense approach.)

Practically speaking, very few Wedding Photography Services contracts are going to end up being litigated in court. It's simply too expensive to go through the legal system to resolve this kind of a dispute, and usually not worth it. Not completely unheard of or impossible, but unlikely. So, again, practically speaking, the reason for a contract from the perspective of the bride is to lay out the actual terms of her agreement with the photographer. You will be surprised to see how small a part of the Wedding Photography Services contract the actual "substantive" terms comprise. :-)

So what are some of the contract provisions that you should care about as a bride:

(1) Price & Options. Starting with the obvious, you should make sure that the price you agreed upon with the photographer is listed in the contract (or a schedule to the contract) and that it lists very clearly the services, products, upgrades, and options that are included in this price.

(2) Payment Schedule. Not only should your contract specify the price, it should also be very clear about the payment schedule. I have yet to see a bride who pays for her entire wedding up-front at the time she enters into the contract. When you enter into the contract, you will pay a nonrefundable retainer (or deposit). That's quite standard. The rest of the payment schedule is not, however. You may be asked to make the final installment payment on the day of your wedding, before you ever see the first photo. Or you may be able to hold on to the last installment until your proofs are ready (giving the photographer an incentive to surface with those sooner). There is no right answer. You should just be clear about what the schedule is and find it to be acceptable.

(3) Wedding Day Details. The time and location when the photographer (and any second photographers and/or assistants) arrive and leave (and not just the sum total number of hours) should be specified in the contract (or a schedule to the contract). If your contract is with a studio that has more than one photographer and you are paying for a specific photographer, that should be in the contract as well.

(4) Timeline for Products. Check that there is a timeline included for when the services and products will be delivered to you and that the timeline is acceptable to you. How soon after the wedding will you receive your proofs? How soon will the album be ready, if you ordered an album?

(5) Privacy. Most contracts will include a "modeling release"--a provision that the photographer may use the photos from your wedding (engagement, trash-the-dress, etc.) for the photographer's portfolio, website, blog, and any other marketing purposes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this provision, and in fact, it's quite standard. However, if you are concerned about privacy and specifically don't want to give the photographer the right to use your photos, you should ask that this provision be changed to this effect. Since in order to get new work, photographers have to show what they've done in the past, and they expect photos from your wedding to help them market themselves, don't be surprised if your photographer requests you to pay extra for your privacy.

(6) Rights in Digital Images. Not to be confused with the prior point, a lot of brides today worry and ask about the "transfer of copyright" in the images from their wedding. Most of them are purchasing a CD/DVD of the images from the wedding and are really only concerned with the ability to (1) use those images on the web (such as on Facebook or their personal home page) and (2) print them for personal use. That is not a transfer of copyright--your photographer is still the copyright holder. But if you are purchasing a CD/DVD of the images of your wedding from your photographer, you should make sure there is language in your contract specifying that the photographer will give you a license to make personal use of the images.

That's all that comes to mind as I try to reverse the roles and think through the Wedding Photography Services contract from the bride's perspective. This is my first attempt to tackle this topic, so if you, either as a bride or a photographer, have any thoughts, comments, or suggestions, I welcome those. Let me know what you think. Obviously this is not a comprehensive guide, but I hope it will make the often too-long Wedding Photography Services contract less intimidating. You know my interest in all this--let's move past the paperwork and start shooting! :-D

Now, you can't have a discussion of anything pseudo-legal these days without a disclaimer, so here goes. The advice, overview and "demystification" of Wedding Photography Services contracts provided here is not meant to constitute legal advice. I am not your lawyer; I am the magician behind the lens. :-) If you are worried about your Wedding Photography Services contract, you should consult an attorney.

Until next time!
http://www.alicesokoloffphotography.com/

Visit us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter

Bride Tip: Looking your best on your wedding day

I've decided to start putting to good use both the fact that I attend more weddings in a year than an average bride may attend in her lifetime and that I pay very close attention to the bride and groom and the details of each wedding. So these "bride tips," which I am hoping to be publishing more of and more regularly as I develop this blog, will attempt to share all the amazing wedding wisdom that I am accumulating. :-)

The topic of today's bride tip will be about make-up and skin. (I know, the title "Looking your best" is a little broad, but that's the ultimate goal, isn't it?) I've compiled a short list of do's and don't's for your wedding day. Some of these may be more obvious than others.


(1) DO - hire a professional to do your make-up. There are exceptions. Some girls are really good at doing their own make-up. That's rare, but if you are one of those girls, I am so jealous! If you are like the rest of us, please don't try to wing it on your wedding day. Go to a pro, even if all that your budget will allow is someone still in beauty school. Even with a professional, if you can, do a trial session before the wedding day to make sure that the person who will be doing your make-up is up to the task and is familiar with your skin. The last thing you want is to discover on the wedding day that the make-up professional's and your understanding of what wedding day make-up should look like vary drastically.


(2) DON'T - use body glitter. It may sound like a great idea. You shimmer all day on this most special of days and draw everyone's eyes upon you with your glowing sparkling skin. There are plenty of reasons not to do this, not the least of them being that it will rub off on the groom's suit. From my perspective, it's a "no" for the simple reason that it looks terrible in photos. Any time light falls on your skin, whether it's sunlight or flash, the tiny specs of glitter send off tiny reflections which become overexposed. So, what you get, instead of smooth beautiful skin, are little white specs all over your skin. So please, please, please, stay away from body glitter on your wedding day!


(3) DO - bring with you or have your maid of honor/bridesmaids carry for you foundation, concealer and lipstick in the same color/tone that was applied in the morning. You should re-apply after each phase of your wedding day (e.g., bridal session, ceremony, reception). Lipstick rubs off from all the kissing, that one is obvious. Don't know what happens to the foundation and concealer, but skin does reacquire some of the unwanted shine with time and blemishes, if you have any, start to show up as well. It's not a huge deal, but if we are talking about looking your absolute best, keep a "fix-it" kit handy and use it frequently. While you are at it, you may keep some moist toilettes handy to wipe all that lipstick you're losing off the groom's face (unless you think the rouge becomes him). ;-)


(4) DON'T - place your trust in "transparent" deodorants. Test whatever you are planning on using on your wedding day before-hand. You will probably be ok regardless--after all, you're wearing white. This is another instance where you may want to think about your black donning mate. :-) Deodorant smear stains look even worse than glitter on a tux!


(5) DO - use moderation and common sense when it comes to things like tanning (whether natural or artificial) and teeth whitening. If you can avoid it, do not do either the day before your wedding. That's not enough time to reverse the results if you overdo it, on either front. In fact, teeth whitening, if you are going to do it, is best done several months before the wedding. If you are going to get an artificial tan done, make sure you give yourself at least a few days.


(6) DON'T - indulge in red wine on your wedding day, even if it's your favorite drink. And better yet, stay away from people who are. Most likely you will be wearing a long white dress on your wedding day that's just begging to trip you and if you are even a little bit of a klutz like the rest of us, you will spill that wine on your beautiful white dress, or veil. And even if you don't, do you want to run the risk that it'll stain those pearly white teeth?


Stay tuned for more bride tips from Alice Sokoloff Photography!


Until next time!
http://www.alicesokoloffphotography.com/

Visit us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter

Bride Tip: Preparing for your engagement session

Every time I schedule an engagement session, I try to think of useful advice to give to the couple I am working with to maximize both their experience at the engagement session and the quality of the resulting photos. After all, these are often the first professional portraits that these couples have had taken in their lives, not counting their high school senior portraits, of course. To avoid repeating myself and to help out anyone who is anxious about their upcoming engagement session, I've decided to memorialize my general thoughts and advice here.

Scheduling
The great thing about engagement sessions (and one that differentiates them from wedding photography) is the flexibility that the couple and the photographer have with setting the day and time for the photo session. While many, if not most, weddings are scheduled for weekends, an engagement session can (and if possible, should) be scheduled on a weekday, when there are fewer people outside that can get in your shots. Engagement sessions can also be scheduled when the light is best, usually in the afternoon, an hour to an hour an a half before sundown. This time is called the "golden hour" and it's when the light is warmest and most complimentary to portraits. It's also when you can experiment with fun sunset images, like the one below.



Think Strategically About Your Wardrobe
The goal is not to match but to coordinate your clothing. Choose colors that complement each other and avoid patterns that clash. Below is a great example of coordinating, but not matching outfits.



If you wear black and white, I can work with that. If you wear bright colors that pop or interesting patterns, we're going to have a blast! Outfits that you bought because you thought they would look really cool (maybe even like something out of a magazine) but never had the occasion to wear--this is the time. Outfits that are thematic (think retro) are great, especially if we can find a location to match the theme. As you are thinking about bright and fun clothes, do avoid clothing that has busy logos or designs--those can detract from your facial expressions.



Be careful to balance comfort with style. You don't want to be so fashionable that you can barely move because the 5 inch stilettos and the skin-tight leather pants that you've got on for the shoot are not your everyday wear. On the other hand, your most comfy sweats and a tank top may not do you justice either. Always bring a few alternative outfits to change into during the session just in case. You can use them if your first choice outfit doesn't work out or if you want to add a little diversity to your session.

Accessorize
In continuation of the prior topic, you may consider having an accent piece of clothing or an accessory, such as shoes in a bright color or a purse that stands out. Accents that are unique to you will make your photos more special to you and more interesting. Even if an accessory is not special to you on its own, but you think it will complement your wardrobe or the location of the photo shoot, it's worth to bring it just in case. Before your engagement session, think of items you could bring that could serve as accents and give your photographer something interesting to work with. What about a fun umbrella (especially if it's overcast and threatening to rain)? If you and your fiance are kids at heart, maybe bring a bouquet of brightly-colored balloons or even cotton candy to your photo session. If you are incorrigible romantics--a bouquet of your favorite flowers. If you love your pet bulldog, bring him for a few shots of your whole "family." Are you a musician? Let's see those instruments! If the accessories don't work, the photographer will tell you so (please don't be offended), but chances are, they will work and they will make you appreciate your photos even more. As we all know, the more you put into something, the more you get out of it. So don't flake on preparing for your photo session!



Have Some Fun and Show Your Personality
Your engagement photos are meant to capture your personalities as individuals and as a couple. Find a way to show that in your setting, activities, or expressions. Are you both complete goofballs? Pose with your eyes crossed and tongues sticking out. Are you avid surfers? Ask your photographer to schedule your session for the beach. To get the most out of your photos, you need to interact with each other while the photographer snaps away. So, kissing, laughing, hugging and tickling are all encouraged. Don't be shy in front of the camera. Any time the photographer is not directing you, try to forget that she is there and just have fun with one another. One piece of advice that I inevitably give couples is, you should always be touching one another, even if it's in some small way, even if all he is doing is holding on to her pinkie as they are looking out at the expanse of the ocean. That's what's going to differentiate romantic "engagement" images from just pretty but emotion-less photos. :-)



Until next time!
www.alicesokoloffphotography.com